Dog be gone

Zach the Golden Retriever is going to be history come Saturday. A rescue group out of New Orleans is going to take him. He has been to doggy jail twice, might as well call him hoduni. That BLANK BLANK BLANK dog has eaten every plant in the backyard, the corner of the house, every plastic planter box that I own, hose nozzle, the foam of the kids trampline, i have not been happy, the last straw was when I caught he and Zuse(the german shepard that we adopted from a rescue group) chewing on the garden statue that i had given my grand-mother that i took back after she died. That was the end of it. I love animals but on that day i beat them both with Steven' s wuffle bat. Of course Ronnie laughed until I said that I was going to smear dog food on his grill and see what he thought when they ate his grill. It was either the dog or me or a gun, you can not even go out in the backyard without seeing the next thing that they have destroyed. So if the lady in NO does not take him he may not make it back across the Basin Bridge. oh does anyone know of a chemical(no I am not trying to poison them) to put on a rock garden to keep them from teeing in the rocks? Dog-Away does not work.
Work is winding down thank goodness, just a few more schedules to get out. And the first day that the sun is shining and Zack is GONE i am taking a vacation day and hitting the back yard, the front of the house has been recovered from the nasty part of winter, looks much better.