thoughts at Christmas

Steven comes home tonight .. finally..he has been with my parents and cousins in Disney since the 12th and then followed by 3 days at the condo on the beach. I am ready for him to be home, however he has had the best time. and so enjoyed the water. My dad took him fishing for the first time in the gulf and the at 4 caught the first fish and the most fish and helped my mama reel in her hammerhead shark which he thought was so cool and then Sunday was their beach day and he decided that he was going to swim out to my dad. no fear.. he did get to touch a shark that day. I hope to have pictures to post from the trip. Christmas time always make me think to that first Christmas with Steven and how heavy my heart was, which brings me to my mother who on the first trip to Baton Rouge played a song in the car "Joy Comes in the Morning", which of course had my crying like a baby,I have been listening to a lot lately along with the Gaither version of " Rock of Ages", this Christmas is also the frist anniversary of my grandmother passing. I am going to try to put both those songs on this post, just don't know if I can do that. But when Vestal Goodman sings her part "When I draw my fleeting breath and my eyes shall close in vain." It gives me chills
Have a Merry Christmas one and all

Merry Snow Day

yes it snowed in Baton Rouge today and only 4 of us are at work. this is Steven's Christmas pic from school.

Exciting weekend...

This is going to be a great weekend, since Ronnie and I have been married, the first weekend in December that we have Drake we go to the Tree Farm in Zachary and let the boys "cut down" the Christmas tree. The first Christmas we were married I actually took a camera as Steven was only 2 and Drake was 6. The image I was able to capture makes me nearly cry every time I look at it. To me it borders on a Norman Rockwell painting. I will try to get it posted Monday. After cutting the tree down we go up to the little shop they have and everyone picks out one ornament to put on the tree. Steven's first ornament was a football shaped pig. I have no idea, I guess he just liked it. I cant wait to see what he picks out this year, Drake chose a hunter sitting on a shotgun shell, Ronnie a motorcycle jacket, and I picked up Santa kneeling at the manger. I can only imagine in the years to come what will be on the tree and the years of teasing over the football shaped pink pig.

Happy Turkeys

Another holiday succesfully under the belt. We had Ronnie's family at the house this year. Our first major holiday in the "new house". 13 in all. Ronnie fried a turkey and it was wonderful, infact there was not the first crumb left. This was my first time to "do Thanksgiving" usually it has been with my parents or at other people's house. Needless to say, my little helper and i cooked stuff until 10 wednesday night. And at 10 pm when the first raw egg hit the floor I knew it was time to go to bed and hit it again in the morning. All in all it was a nice Thanksgiving and could not have asked for any better. ps hope to have new pics soon

Come on Friday, please....

While I know from past experience that I am NOT a stay at home mom and or wife. Even if the money was there I don't think I could do it. There is only so much to clean and so much patience with children and even though all I ever wanted as a young adult was to have kids and do it better then my parents(as we all want to do), I find that I am lacking in the patience department. Which brings me to the work place. While I love my job and I am most fullfilled with my job, my co-workers make me crazy. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who is sane here. I can on any given day watch the other 3 jockey for position for "teacher's pet" in the office. It's actually quite funny to watch. Three out of the 4 of us smoke(shame on me I know), so today after lunch 2 of us went to smoke while the other was eating lunch with her boyfriend. So that one is now mad and has her feelings hurt, are you kidding me? I have always been one to speak my mind, somethimes that gets me in trouble and sometimes not. Today in this situation I am reminded of a coffee mug that says"Lord, please keep an arm over my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth." I will have a callous inside my mouth from biting my mouth closed. Come on Friday.

Love, honor and trust

This will be a long one so forgive me. All this week Steven has been with my mother as I have had to be at work for 6 am for for meeting(construction company) so Ronnie and I have had each others undivided attention. Which is not the norm. With my past history I have found that I have some trust issues that I am SOOO trying to work on..Poor Ronnie..anyway at 6 pm last night he still was not home, so I called. I stopped at Walgreen's he said I'll be there in a minute, and sure enough he was, but with no Walgreen bag. Instantly I was already trying to figure out in my mind when I could go through the cell phone bill. He must have seen the look on my face becuase he went right back outside and came in with the bag and sat it on the bar and said"You have got to stop,baby. I understand why you doubt me, but I am not him." Talked about being called out and I hate it, I hate that it spills onto him. And then he said.....I married you thinking that at any moment you would say I am going back. I lived like that for the first year we were married and then I finally caught a clue that you were not going back." So we have both been living waiting for the other to leave when that is so far away from what goes on between us. The things that people put themselves thru. The first time Ronnie ever met my parents we all went out to eat, i was so nervous i couldn't eat, Ronnie was so nervous he ate everything in sight, looking back i am sure it was pretty funny. but at the table he professed his love to my parents and told them that he knew i was his soul mate and that God had brought me to Barber Brothers and so on and so forth. My poor dad nearly choked on his tea. so even with that a grown man professing his love in a public place i should have had a clue then, but that "thing" in the back of my head won't let it go. So last night with tears in my eyes , i promised to give him a break and he promised again what he promised me the day we got married.... love ,honor and trust..

Trouble in Training

Baby, can you feel the love?

Yesterday when I picked Steven up I had a note from Ms.Carol."Please talk to Steven about hitting me on the behind". Well instantly I knew what was going on. At home we do"Love Pats" and after you smack someone on the the butt you say"Baby, can you feel the love"? Ms. Carol was actually quite offended this morning when I tried to explain to her what was going on. Completely innocent. But she could not see the humor. And yes while he does not need to be smacking other people on the butt, I started to tell her she should be happen he is not pinching her up higher

I have a date for lunch....

When Steven and I came to Baton Rouge he was so little, and while living with my parents,when Steven and I were by ourselves which was not very often, I treasured it. It was my time with him...Our special time. Now it is very rare and all the planets and stars have to line up just right for that to happen. Well Saturday the stars are lining up, unfortunately for him Ronnie has to work, however it is not our weekend with Drake and Steven and I get our time. Now our "date" as he calls it will be lunch at De'Angelo's sharing a bowl of fettucine alfredo and cheesy bread. He chooses fettucine because out of the whole family only he, my dad, and myself like it, so we don't get it very often. I can't wait and niether can he , plus it is the only time that he gets to be the "man" and open the doors and orderthe food. I believe in EARLY TRAINING..

Will and Grace/not the tv show

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

ER Visit

Well we had our first injury related trip to the ER.(thursday) School called and said Steven fell off the Monkey bars can you come? Well top and bottom lip busted and a nose bleed for an hour, then sleepy and sick to his stomach. So off we went. No concusion. Come to find out the highest point of the monkey bars is 6 ft high and we will have to work on how to fall off of things because he landed flat on his face. OPPS. THEN friday the Shop Foreman's helper called me desk and said "Hey meet me at the back door", so of course i went be-boppin out the back door and there is Ronnie with blood spurting out of his hand. White as a ghost and sweating bullets. PUT A SCREW DRIVER THRU HIS HAND. (yes i am going to find all my husbands at work, haha) so there is the 2nd trip to the ER in as many days. We really thought he had hit an artery. CRAZY. NO MORE ER TRIPS I REFUSE...

My Cousin/My Sister

Being an only child has its ups and downs, you for the most part get everything, all the love and the hugs and kisses and for the most part you "catch" everything, all the grief , the bad days, the only one that colored on the wall is you, the only one that messed up your room is you and so on.

So when I speak of Jamie, my cousin(an only child as well) I might as well be speaking of my sister as she is the closest thing I will ever have to a sister, even though I never tell her.

My husband works hard all day outside, in the heat/cold , rain , I would like to say snow but this is South Louisiana. I CHOOSE for him to have a hot meal at night, he does not request it or demand it, I do. However, last night after another blow and go weekend which I truely enjoyed, I did not have it in me. So I picked him up fish from Ralph and Kacoo's which is on the way home. and let me add that anyone who might be passing thru the city of Baton Rouge needs to stop and eat there.

While Steven and I ate cereal (by choice) and Ronnie ate his fish he said, why would you do that? and with a mouth full of Coco Puffs(enjoying every little crunch as it is not on my diet) I said it is just one of the things that I do for you. And he said i dont know how you do what you do,work,keep a house,juggle kids and still make all of us feel like we are first. And there is was,because just Friday night in the middle of breaking up a wanna be throw down between the kids , I thought to myself WHY AM I DOING THIS AND WHERE IS YOUR FATHER? Well of course Ronnie had fallen asleep how in the hurricane of 4 kids I cant tell you but so be it.

Now back to Jamie. Here is a woman with 3 kids (of which 2 are a set of twins) all boys, doing a very good impression of the juggling act as we all do. It never fails that the things that she sends me (email) ALWAYS stop me from letting my ugly side show(which everyone has one). We were both raised by women who came from a STRONG family background. My "sister" sent me the answer to Friday nights question. Just when I felt like I was spinning my wheels and nobody was there is see my smoke.

Please enjoy what is below and be blessed.

If you had one bit of doubt as to the purpose of your calling as a wife/mother or wonder if all your efforts are ever even noticed this video will erase all doubt.

The Invisible Woman clip

A Lousiana Weekend---laughing at myself

This was our weekend with Drake, so I knew it would be on all weekend. We blow and go when we have him, well actually we blow and go all the time. We also had Seth and Hunter Friday night and then Jessica came to get them Saturday morning and asked if she could take all of the kids to Chucky Cheese. Sure , here is some money , please go.... So , all last week Ronnie kept saying I have ordered something for you and you probably wont like it , but if you do not then i will keep it, sort of conversation. So of course all week I have been trying to guess what it was and finally he told me that it was made in Hungry. Hungry?? What could it be, I spent no less then 3 hours last week looking at things imported from Hungry, you would be amazed. Anyhow, after Jessica( future daughter in-law) we went to go pick this "gift" up and as it turn ed out it was a hand gun. Only in the State of Louisiana does a husband buy his wife a hand gun as a gift. The sad part is , is that I was excited and he was that I was. Too funny. So we (I) drove the bikes about 30 miles away to the shop for me to get new tires and a once over, which that was my 1st real ride out of the subdivision, pretty cool and then we went to the firing range. I enjoyed that even more. Am I turning into a Redneck?? Hopefully not, now am I married to one? Absolutely. Not only was he impressed with my target skills, he was tickled that I enjoyed the day as much as he did. Too funny. I am going to bring my target to work and tape it to the front
of my desk and write on it that the complaint line starts here. It is not often that we get a weekend to ourselves and we try to make the most of it when we do. take care all

To be a Tigger or an Eeyore

This is actually from a news article on the memorial service honoring the life of Randy Pausch, "the last lecture professor"...his lecture can be viewed at www.cmu.edu/randyslecture , although I have ONLY viewed parts and have taken from it what I myself deemed interesting to me and my affection for Eeyore.

"In the lecture, which Pausch said was actually for his three young children,he urged the audience to"Never lose the childlike wonder. It's just too important. It is what drives us." He said it's true lesson was not "how to reach your dreams". It's about how to live your life." Live right now, he said , and karma would take care of the rest.
Stuffed Tiggers were placed on each chair as keepsakes.

"You just have to decide if you are a Tigger or an Eeyore. Pausch saw himself:energetic and optimistic, as opposed to the mopey Eeyore, even when faced with certain death."


by : Andy Van Dam , mentor to Randy Pausch

ATTA BOY - God Bless our Country

I was sent this in an email from Mr. Bob , who is the sweetest little old man and who recently retired from Barber Brothers, where I work..... I usually do not stray into the political arena but when it is in your face , you have to share...

I'm sure you've seen these before but they always elicit an 'Atta boy!' from me...

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of 'empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electric power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck...We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries.Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE... A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. 'You have been to France before, monsieur?' the customs officer asked sarcastically.Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. 'Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.' The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it.'
'Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!'The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. 'Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to!'
You could have heard a pin drop.

Realizing what God and life have instore....

The boss is out today so lunch time is actually mine....



Four or five years ago if someone had tapped me on the shoulder and said"Hey your life is about to be upside down and this , and this is going to happen and oh btw you will have a baby in the middle of it all" I would have said "ARE YOU CRAZY?"



I have always considered myself to be a strong person and things were put infront of me that made me question my very being. I questioned my decisions, my motives, I questioned God himself. Why would all these things be happening AND put a baby in the middle of it all and other children? What did I do, certainly nothing to deserve all of this. Then Christmas eve 2004, my child's first Christmas, which should have been filled with joy and laughter, everytime I looked at him all I could do was cry, and heavy on my heart was the answer. Though out the whole "thing" I TRIED TO DO IT BY MYSELF. At 37 years old with a 9 month old baby it took a brick to the head rather than all the quiet taps on the shoulder that I CHOSE not to listen to, to FINALLY listen. I finally gave it all to Him and I could look at my son and not cry, I could see that what I was being told was to only benefit the other person, I could live with my decisions, and I could be strong again , but I had to do it His way and not Kathy's way.

So where do I go from that point? I went home and when I rolled into Baton Rouge I knew I was home. Even though I was scared to death , the fact of starting over, no job, no income at the time. Even with all of those bricks ahead of me, there was calm. I found a church , a job , a friend who in his own words" drug me kicking and screaming to the alter". It wasn't quite like that. I will admit that we have both backslid and even this Sunday found an excuse not to go, and here was that quite tap as I was folding clothes. It will not take a brick to the head or another tap. I have learned to listen to Him. Things do not always come the way you want them to, or when, but they do come, you just have to listen and try not to close your heart and ears so much that it does take that brick.

First ride after the drop......

Well Steven and I got home last night and Ronnie says" I will fix dinner, you can go ride if you want to" , so I put on the boots,the pony tail,the jeans and head out the door.....the knot in the middle of my stomach was crazy...dry mouth.. and I am thinking "I'll never make it to the end of the street" WHAT AM I DOING? Where was all my new found confidence? GONE, left at the stop sign, in the puddle with the spilled anti-freeze. So, as I am about to park the bike and get off , I decide that while I am scared to death that so should be able to do this again. So I take off and atleast made it around the big block and came to "THE STOP SIGN" , I made it, but it was not pretty , then I decided I needed to go home. Maybe this weekend

Help me to the be merciful in all that I do

IKE

Well as we prepare for Ike who is just hours away, my dependable employer is bound and determined to get a full day out of us, and the office is the only part working, my child is stranded in Alexandria and my mother will not give hime up until after the storm." my baby is not going through another hurricane" , you would think we were in new orleans. oh well.

And it finally happened and Ronnie said it would...I dropped the bike... not hurt except for my pride and a couple of bruises....lesson learned....never ride when you know you are tired and most important ,one must have a little speed when turning or you will fall over.....and of course the cute passerby that had to help me lift up the 600 pound gorilla and then the call to the husband that said "hey, i am ok BUT, i dropped the bike and antifreeze is coming out of the bike. can you come check it out?" He was there in about 5 seconds. So to date and only 45 miles of total riding later we have spent right at 100 dollars on things that i have "broke" , lost the brake handle on the drop. oops.

back to "normal"

Even though the back yard smells rancid. Yuck! Trees are still everywhere on the streets, people are still without power,the sky is littered with"blue tarps", however the gas lines are getting shorter and the grocery stores are getting their shelves stocked life in Baton Rouge is resuming. I feel for the people in Fla. and in Texas, I really do, but I am thanking God that Ike is not coming this way. On a happier note. Ronnie put the new shift lever on the bike Monday night and of course then the bike would only shift into first, so after the discussion of it would cost more to fix the transmission then the bike is worth I was heart broken. So a call to the local bike shop said that they hardley ever have to work on those engines/transmissions because they never break and told Ronnie to "get on it" hard and try to pop it into second. So low and behold at lunch he was working by the house and could stand it no longer, went home and had to try it a couple of time but finally it worked. I was so excited, so of course we rode for about 2 hours last night. Yee Ha. Have to work now, everyone have a Blessed day!

hurricane

well after a week of no power ,sweating and my mother-in-law, my husband's ex- wife and my step-son , i am glad to say that all the people are gone and my house is mine again. our neighborhood and baton rouge looks like a bomb went off, amazingly enough we only lost part of our fence and some limbs out of the tree. i dont know how. houses to the left and the right of us are really tore up and more then half the city is still out of power and will be out for another 7 to 21 days. steven's school is closed until the 15th and my mom is coming to get him tomorrow. i had to drive 20 miles outside of baton rouge to get groceries,thankfully where we work is letting us buy gas and pay for it later. we are still even as of sunday night under a curfew, it is crazy here and there are gi joes with m-16s at the stores that are open. cnn only really broadcasted from new orleans and when the leveies did not break they all left , while baton rouge got left behind. even watching it for ourselves i sat there wondering when they were going to show the rest of the world , oh well we survied now we are watching for ike. i am so tired.

Sorry about yesterday's post ya'll. Just having a moment. Nothing like working with 3 other women....Well as Ronnie and I prepare for Gustuva, yee ha, it would appear that we will have no less then 10 hurricane evacuees it he stays his course. Oh well the more the merrrier huh? My part for the bike will not be in by tomorrow so no riding this weekend, kinda bummed about that. oh well i need to be cleaning the house anyway. Also, had to make I am sure my first of many trips to the Principal's office at Steven's school which resulted in a spanking in the parking lot and pinky promise to be good. It would have been funny if I had not been so mad. When that child rounded the corner and saw me standing there in the middle of the day, it was priceless. the tears started to flow. My mother of course laughed and said Welcome to my life. He gets it honestly, needless to say my parents were on a first name basis with my principal. ......

What i want

What I want.... I want people to be smart enough and caring enough to do what they are suppose to do, even if it hurts my feelings. I want to raise my hands to Heaven and be doing it because I feel led to , not because I dont want to feel left out of the "pack", I want my child to know that everything I do is because of him and to do right by him always, even if it makes life harder on me. I want people who are miserable to stop trying to drag me down with them, I wont have it.

Well the backyard looks like Lake Baton Rouge, with about 75 mushrooms lining the fence. i wanted the scoot around the block some practicing the turns but that did not happen, thanks to Fay. Maybe one night this week it will happen. Had a zoo filled weekend, this was our weekend with Drake and we grilled with my in-laws( aka the outlaws) Saturday, then his other son called and asked could we baby-sit the grand kids(yes at 41 I am Meme Kathy, so we had Drake(7),Seth(5), Steven(4), and Hunter(2), I was definitely out numbered in the boy to girl ratio. Even the dog is a boy. Got them all in bed(not necessarily sleeping) about 10:30, the ONLY one that didn't act like an ape was Hunter and he was so quiet we thought we lost him only to search the house like a bunch of crazy people ,to find him in Steven's closet playing with cars. Then Sunday after Seth and Hunter left we took Drake and Steven to Chucky Cheese. Zoo #2. Plus the house cleaning and the clothes washing, but we(Ronnie and I ) looked at each other last night panting from the weekend and at the same time said that we would not have it any other way. Life is good.

Graduation

I did it. I passed the written test and the riding test. I am almost legal. now to trek down to DMV and take their written test and then I have have my endorsement by the state. Highways and biways here i come. I am so excited.

The reason for my blog

After being invited to someone else's blog and truly enjoying the read, I decided that I would try as well, I am going to strive to make this a positive endeavor and even if no one reads it, it is still ok and while I do have a my space page , it is lacking on a whole, perhaps the people that are there, while here seems so much better. So, to higher standards we strive. However, one side note. What is up with church's today? I can remember as a child and teenager going to Southern Baptist church and complaining about playing volley ball in bluejeans and or the skirt/dress, but will you give me a break, these little girls that come in like they have just rolled in from the beach i want to smack, and while i understand that the "churches" are opening their doors with "open door "policies, "God doesn't care how you come ,just come" , have some respect people. you had the money to buy the short shorts and the mini skirts, you have the funds to buy at the very least skirt to cover your knees and or a pair of pants- and it also falls back on the parents as well ,because they allow it. I have stumbled on this block due to the fact that Ronnie and I are currently looking for a church home and I am shocked, and yes while these young people are in church and so forth and so on , it is disturbing... and i am done now.

Bike School

I did it, well let me back up. Last Wednesday night I told my Husband to put the Vulcan in the street while I went in and got my helmet. So I come back and sure enough there it is , and I said quietly God, don' t let me get myself killed and there it was, peace and confidence. I got on put the bike in gear and took off. Started off down the street and turned the corner, made the block, looked in the mirror and there was Ronnie and Steven. With the biggest grin on his face he said i knew you could do it and I said I had help. With of course a scared look on his face he said, I can't believe you just took off like that. So then the next night was the first night of the Rider's Edge Education course through Harley Davidson (which I recommend to ANYONE who can balance a bicycle), so Saturday and Sunday was the actual on the bike part , which I am happy to say that I passed. Only a 3 point deduction for a botched right U turn. Tonight is the last part which is the written test. What a confidence builder. Other then giving birth to my son and having my soul mate walk into my life this ranks right up there.

only in Louisiana could you have a Superman themed wedding, but you can, and we hosted a wedding at our house friday night . Superman rings and all . pic to follow. the couple is happy and i guess that is all that matters, i can only imagine what the poor justice of the peace was thinking

Monday August 4

Today is the first anniversary of my step-daughters death. Even though we know she no longer suffers with the tribulations of this world, my husband's heart aches and all I can do is hold his hand. Not knowing what he is feeling as I have not lost my child, I am at a perfect loss as to what to say other then that i love him and that I am here for him. It does however make me sweeter towards my own son as in this morning instead of yelling because he was still watching cartoons instead of putting his shoes on, I stopped , picked up his shoes and put them on him while he still watched cartoons. Thanking God the whole time that he was here for me to do that for. Here, healthy and full of life.